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Frankly the noise was a little too much for me. I'd only agreed to attend because it was Michael's son getting married and he'd asked me to be there. At my age, I'd long outgrown the naughty, rule-breaking fascination of bachelor parties. It was easy to look at the young men there, friends of the groom, see their unabashed antics and foolhardiness, and recall a younger version of myself acting as they were now. Drinking too much, shouting too much, music too loud, room too dark and bartender too slow. True, I was grumpy.
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The Guyliner delivers some handy tips, so to speak. There are plenty of guides out there on how to actually do it, with no position too weird or complicated to get its own instruction manual, but when it comes to being on the receiving end, well, options are limited. Think of all the horrible things about oral sex — stray hairs, poor hygiene, really terrible novelty underwear — and eliminate them. You want your dick to be memorable for the right reasons — not a tale someone tells round the campfire at Halloween. Oh, and make sure your backside is cleaned to Nasa specifications too — just in case their fingers get busy — or their tongue. Stroke their face, interlock fingers. It can take a while.
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