A very good friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend. They were both Christians, very involved in the church and on the outside seemed happy. I was not shocked when they broke up though, because she had confessed to me their biggest problem: He would not let go of the fact that she was not a virgin. Over and over he brought up that he needed to "mourn what was lost," even though these conversations would often end with her in tears. His fixation on the fact that she had previously had sex, even though she was repentant about this, clouded their relationship. He was devastated when she broke up with him, and could never admit anything he'd done wrong.
Can / should a Christian marry a person who is not a virgin?
I could be the poster child for the merits of abstinence before marriage: I am a member of the US evangelical Christian community and remained a virgin until my wedding. I've been happily married to the same man for almost 15 years. We've seen a lot in our marriage: conceived four children, cared for two with severe medical conditions, buried one of them, started and quit jobs, moved houses, changed churches, grieved, and battled depression. We have hurt, misunderstood, under-estimated, and annoyed each other.
It sounds ridiculous. Become a virgin again? Why not ask to relive last week? Yet if you've had sex, you may be saying, "I've asked for forgiveness. Now please tell me how to answer people who want to know whether or not I'm a virgin.
Go figure. To date, I have written numerous articles, but there is one article, in particular, that recently hit one million views worldwide. It is extremely humbling when you hear from mothers all around the world saying that they are going to save an article you wrote for their children. However, as God has graciously opened my eyes to the truth of the gospel, I have come to believe that there is a better message that people need to hear regarding the topic of sex, virginity, and purity. This article is designed to lead you through how growth and dependence on Jesus provides a more proper and accurate understanding of biblical purity.